Standards

Read: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6; Proverbs 1:10, 2:16-22, 4:10-13

"If you stand for nothing you will fall for anything..." Standards. Standards are guidelines we place in our lives that protect us from temptation. They do not keep us from fun, but rather keep us from harm, so we can enjoy life to the fullest.

When it comes to relating with and dating the opposite sex we have to set standards. These standards will make sure we are protected from temptation and will provide the path to follow towards the ultimate relationship.

The bible outlines clearly what is sin in relationships. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says to stay away from sexual sin. Jesus said in Matthew 5:27 that if you look at a woman with lust you've committed adultery with her. So we know that premarital sex, looking with lust and touching someone inappropriately are wrong. That's already been established, but we need standards in our lives that will keep us far from that place.

Standards are something you set before your dating in your personal life and when you start dating with your new acquired bf or gf. Before your start dating you need to take some time and establish standards for your life. It would be a good idea to ask your parents or a leader what they should be. I will list some suggestions that will protect, but you must decide for yourself. Here they are:

• I'm not going to date until I'm old enough to get married... - a lot of people get themselves into trouble dating too early. Don't date till you're ready for a mate!
• I'm going to be careful what I put before my eyes. I'm not going to watch shows, get on Internet sites or look at the opposite sex in a way that will cause me to lust.
• I'm not going to be alone with a member of the opposite sex that isn't my family.
• I'm not going to buy into the cultures idea of what a dating relationship looks like, but choose purity for my life.
• I'm going to pray for my future spouse. Asking God to protect and keep them for me.
• I'm going to keep and protect myself for them.

When you are of age to date and when you begin you need to establish standards, then go to your parents or a leader you trust and let them know what your standards are. Give them permission to add to your standards and check in with you on a regular basis to make sure you are doing well. Here are some suggestions for standards in dating:

• Don't be alone in one another's room, house, couch etc... Temptation comes when nobody is around.
• Have a curfew. I.e. we won't be alone after 11pm. When your tired and late at night is when many people give in to temptation.
• Establish boundaries in physical touching. Not just we will not have sex until we are married, but we wont kiss, or we will kiss but only like this. Making out, physical touch and such will lead to temptation and you want to avoid temptation.
• Environments. Be careful what environments you put yourself in. Couches, beds, romantic fires in the middle of the woods, the back seat of your car looking at the stars can all lead to sin. Be careful, there will be plenty of time for that when you are married!
• Be transparent. Make a choice that if you do fall to temptation that you will go quickly and confess it, so you can be healed and it doesn't l
• Lead to more. One little slip not confessed can lead to big falls that create lots of pain.

These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to standards. You need them in your life now and when you date because if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything. God has such an incredible spouse for you and marriage don't ruin it by falling into temptation! Set some standards and have someone in authority hold you accountable.